in the thicket

LM Montgomery on birth, scheduling/cry it out and nursing...1912-1913

I've been re-reading (for the 3rd time, I believe!) the fascinating journals of L.M. Montgomery. In particular, I've been reading Volume 2 (1910-1921), during which time her grandmother passed away and she married her husband and became a mother. I first read her journals as a newlywed myself- I actually bought them while on my honeymoon on PEI!

A friend of mine, TulipGirl, once commented that she found some of Montgomery's books encouraging to read as a mother. I would tend to agree! It's fascinating to read Montgomery's journal describing her views and experiences with three "hot-button"mothering issues, birth, scheduling/cry-it-out and breastfeeding. As a fairly well-educated and progressive woman, I'm sure that she was influenced in large degree by the emerging "scientific" literature on birth and child care. At the same time, she writes beautifuly of those mothering instincts that sometimes fly contrary to what we are told we should or should not do by "experts."

As someone who had a manageable birth, pain-wise, with my second child because I chose waterbirth, I found this passage describing her first son's birth to be fascinating. I'm wondering how similar what she read is to the Hypnobabies course (which I haven't seen) or Grantly Dick-Read's work.

Some rather long quotes here...

"I have heard much of the agony of the birth chamber. That such agony is the rule rather than the exception generations of suffering women have testified since the dawn of time. But I know no more of it then I did before my child's birth. From first to last I had no severe pain. I have suffered more many a night with tooth-ache. If I knew I was to have another baby tomorrow it would not worry me in the least, as far as the ordeal itself goes. I felt nothing but cramp-like aches in the back and had it not been for the dreadful stifling heat and several hard and exhaustive attacks of vomiting I would not have minded it much at all. Dr. Bascom said he could not understand it. He said it was perfectly marvellous, in a woman of my age, at a first birth, and with a child having such a large firm head.

Ever since I knew I was to have a child I persistently took, every day, a set of exercises recommended in a medical book for pregnant women. These exercises were said to affect all the muscles used in partuition, making them flexible and elastic. Perhaps it was because of this I suffered so little. Personally, I have another opinion but I do not tell it to all and sundry.

A few years ago I read Hudson's 'Law of Psychic Phenomena'. Ever since I have had a strong belief in the power which the subconscious mind can exert over physical functions. Every night, as I was dropping off to sleep, and frequently through the day I repeated over and over the command to my subconscious mind 'Make my child strong and healthy in mind and body and make his birth safe and painless for me'.

Well, his birth was safe and almost painless fo rme and whatever he may develop into he is certainly strong and healthy now. I believe it was the 'psychic suggestion' which produced my 'easy time'. but it may have been the exercises- or both- or neither. It is one of the things that can't be proved, believe what we will."

(Vol. 2, pp 100-101)

Montogmery on her own experience with scheduling her baby, allowing him to cry, or not...

"...I cuddled him in my arms and tucked him away in his basket and cosied the blankets and down puff about him. It is so lovely to make him warm and comfortable and happy. The very hardest thing I have to do is sometimes to steel my heart against him when he should be asleep. I just have to hold on to myself to keep from rushing to him. and I sit there in misery and harrow my soul by thinking, 'What--if--he were to--if anything should happen to him ever--I would be haunted to my death by the agonizing thought that I had let him cry his poor wee heart out without consoling him.' And I see myself lying alone at night thinking of the little creature far away from me in his grave and his little basket empty--and the horror is often so great that I fly to him, rules and regulations to the contrary not withstanding, and catch him up and cuddle him against my breast, with his darling head nestled on my shoulder. And then the sweet baby smiles and the blue eyes laughing through the tears!"

(p.111)

Finally on nursing and weaning, and this makes me thankful for today's nursing bras and fashion styles! (She weaned him entirely by 10-11 months, if my calculations are correct...)

"But for me another of the little tragedies of motherhood took place today. I gave my little son his first meal of milk-- the beginning of his weaning. I felt it bitterly. From his birth he has been wholly dependent on me. He has drawn all the sustenance his darling wee body demanded from me--he has been mine, wholly mine. But henceforth this is not to be so. He is beginning to owe his nourishment to an outside source and must continue to do so more and more. In one way it will be, I suppose, a relief. Certainly there are some aspects in which nursing is a nuisance, especially when one lives in an epoch of fashion which ordains dresses hooked in the back. But I hate to give it up. I am so thankful I have been able to nurse my baby and I cannot understand how any mother can refuse to do so if she is able. Yes, today it gave me a pang when I gave my wee man his cup of milk."

(p.117)

 

 

When all the interesting stuff happens, I find I'm too busy to blog

Or too busy to gather my thoughts to blog coherently and say something interesting? I find that I can compose short posts for messageboards but something "blog worthy" seems overwhelming. So this is just a little post to say "Happy Saturday Morning" to any one reading and to try to get back in the bloggy mood.

And I leave you with a little cuteness this morning... this is Gwen at Charlotte's last day of Little Gym. No, I haven't scrapped Charlotte's pictures yet... oh, this LO actually won me a $6.99 gift certificate to Sweet Shoppe Designs... haven't spent it yet, so indecisive!

God grant me the serenity...

I tend to obsess about stuff. Worry about things. Most of which I can't control. My dad has been quoting the Serenity Prayer to me for years- "God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference."

It's hard, but I have been consciously trying to focus on that which is in my control, primarily my relationship with my husband and daughters, and extended family. Which is good, since we will probably stay home more and "enjoy each other's company" with the rising gas prices. (*Deep breath, something I can't control.*) I feel like I'm already ahead of the game because we truly do enjoy each other and spending time together. So when I put a little extra effort into our daily life, it pays huge dividends.

This weekend Jason and I watched a movie together. We haven't done that in ages. In anticipation of hopefully getting out to see the new Indiana Jones movie (though it may be at the $1.50 theater by the time we do) we watched "Raiders of the Lost Ark." I just really missed watching movies with him, and I hope that's something we can turn into a habit once or twice a month.

We will officially start the homeschooling program "Five in a Row" with Charlotte in the fall, but because we are in the middle of the heat wave now, I decided to do a practice run this week with "The Story of Ping." I chose it because of the upcoming Olympics, as a way to introduce Charlotte to China. And because some of the activities involve water, also a wise choice for this week. I had planned to just spend 30 minutes on it this morning, but we enjoyed it so much it stretched to longer. Then C wanted to work on one of the workbooks I recently bought her ("Get Ready for the Code, book A") and I couldn't get her to stop. Hmmm, she's like her mother. I might have to put a time limit on her, because I was hoping the two work-books I got would last the whole summer!

So, I just prayerfully acknowledge that the world feels unsettling, but I'm trying to set emotional and mental boundaries for myself and as Jason suggests "think about what makes me happy, do what makes me happy" as much as I can. I'm trying to read more fiction, more encouraging books. And I've accepted that though digital scrapbooking may not be the most efficient use of my time, I truly love it and it's good for my mental health, so I'll continue. I mean, who wouldn't feel better after scrapping a page of this little cutie?

Oh, and if you're looking for a fun summer read, just wanted to throw it out there that I really enjoyed "Comfort Food" by Kate Jacobs.

Twenty-five years

I woke up June 3rd, 1983 expecting to go to my last day of kindergarten. Instead, my dad told me and my brother that our mother had passed away.

I was six, she was 30 years old. I realized that I am now older than she was! The strange thing is that I am living in the same house she lived in when she passed away, and have two young children... my oldest is almost exactly the same age my brother was when she died.

Obviously my grief is not as "strong" as it was when I was younger, but I have a greater understanding of what she left behind. She actually committed suicide, and was very depressed for a number of years. For this reason, I am a great advocate of people who struggle with depression, especially mothers, seeking help if they feel overwhelmed or depressed or worthless. My mother honestly thought we would be better off without her, but that is not true at all. Her death still affects me today, and I am so sad she doesn't know her sweet granddaughters. And even in her depression, I believe she was a good mother. I have many wonderful memories of her.

If anyone is reading this and you are have the false belief that your life is not worth living, I beg of you, think again. You don't know  how much your children and unborn grandchildren will miss you. My four year old talks about her "grandma who isn't alive, and I'll see her in Heaven with Jesus... Mommy she will get a new body too, right?" I hope and pray so though I really don't know of course.

I'll snuggle these girls a little closer today... I'm thankful that my mental health is better than my mother's and that truly nothing could compell me to leave these little girls. And I lift up my mother to God, who is the only one who truly knew her or knows where she is. Lord have mercy.

Cuteness abounds

Sometimes my girls are just so darn cute and interesting I can hardly stand it. Really... Just some highlights from the past few days...

Yesterday we were playing in the front yard as we often do, and a strange cat wandered in our yard. We've seen our share of wandering kitties, but not this one. Well, this was a very friendly cat! Much friendlier than our own cats, even! The girls played with this cat for about an hour! I kept cautioning them not to tease or try to pick it up, and generally they didn't. The cat just settled down after greeting everyone and then the girls decided they were kitties and Charlotte stuck a dead bunch of leaves in the back of her pants as her "tail" and they clomped around our front yard meowing. Very cute. Everything went well until dh came home and while he was watching them Charlotte picked the cat up and tried to bring it inside our house because it was her "best kitty friend."

Charlotte is identifying more and more words every day, and showing more and more "everyday math knowledge." Like instinctively knowing if you ask her, "So you have 3 of those, how many more do you need to have 5?" Little stuff like that. And seeing simple words and knowing what they are. And she's so logical. Today at Little Gym she told her teacher that her stuffed kitty who accompanies her to class was going to be in a concert tonight and she wanted her teacher to come... the teacher laughed and said she was working tonight. Charlotte said, "Well, really it's going to be tomorrow night. No, actually it's going to be the next Little Gym day!" Thus demolishing her teacher's excuse for not attending. :) I just love how whereever she is, even if it's a boring place like the waiting room of the ER she does a great job amusing herself with songs and making up stories about everything, and how she includes her little sister too. Just such a great age.

Gwendolyn of course is so precious and precocious with the non-stop climbing and exploring. She's a night/day kind of kid. One minute so agreeable, the next minute arms crossed and pouting. But she quickly recovers from that. And she's always joining in Charlotte's imaginary scenarious as she can. She's moving on to longer sentences and her pronunciation is really improving. For a long time, she's called her sister "Ghar" or something like that. Today she had a breakthrough at Little Gym. She was REALLY ready to leave, so she started calling for her sister, "Ghar-lotte!" So she's working on two syllables now! I'm not sure why it's taken her so long with Charlotte, she can call all her cousins by their full 2 & 3 syllable names.

I also love how she takes your hand and leads you around to what she wants to do, saying, "Come on, come on!" And her happy exclamations, "I got it!" whenever she does something. And the pleading, "Holp mommy peas holp..." Her favorite stories (since she's in the read it again stage) are "Hands are not for hitting," "Caps for Sale," "Kittens are like that" (origin of another favorite phrase, "warm and cozy"), "Big Red Barn," "Bear Snores On," "Jesse Bear", "The Foot Book", "Is there a Wocket in Your Pocket" aka "Wocket Pocket", and for some reason a book I find tedious, "Is this the House of Mistress Mouse?"

Both the girls love to draw, of course, and Charlotte is finally drawing houses and flowers and adding even more character to her people. It was cute the other day she taped one of her drawings over her bed, and then taped one Gwen did over her crib (that she doesn't sleep in, lol.)

Anyway, I just wanted to record some of what they're up to recently. My memory really does fade!

Gotta love that reverse psychology...

Cranky, sick 2 yo Gwen conks out after a hard morning at play with big sister and Charlotte is not pleased. Whining commences... "Is she asleep? But I don't wanna play by myself! It's so boring."

I pull a trick out of my bag learned from the master of parenting "tricks", my dad. "Well, I'm sorry you are disappointed, but she needs to sleep. Maybe you could play with the house elf. But whatever you do, DON'T play with your ponies. They are taking a nap and said they don't want to be disturbed."

A deep knowing four year-old sigh. "No they're not!"

"Really, they are. I couldn't get them to go to sleep last night, they are worn out! You should leave them alone."

Minutes later she's hopping down the stairs, with ponies in hand...

Gotta love that reverse psychology... I figure it does no harm, since my kid is smart enough to see right through me.

Note to self: read this review later

Review: The Procrastinator's Handbook at The Simple Dollar.

Ha ha.

Menu Plan Monday May 12th Edition

I'm going to try to make a habit of this, so I really need to grab a graphic from Laura! (note to self). I apologize for the wonky fonts, I cut & pasted and typepad is not making it easy for me to fix formatting...

Random thoughts, not my menu: I had a realization this weekend... I am a better cook than most restaurant cooks where we can afford to eat, lol. Because it was Mother's Day weekend we ate out a bit more than I prefer... we had Starbuck's pastry offerings Sunday morning, and they just weren't as good as I remember. *scratching head* It's been a while since I ate food from there, I wonder what changed. And then for dinner Sunday night we went to a local barbeque restaurant, and honestly I could barely eat the barbeque because it was too spicy for me! It's usually not, so that was unusual. In contrast, Saturday we had a delicious dinner of pork chops on the grill, rice, corn, grilled zuchinni and broccoli. We grilled 3 pork chops and the girls just loved it and ate it all up! I think we need to grill four chops next time!

So, here's my menu for this week... I'm noting lunch ideas for myself here. It will be challenging because we have a busy week, which makes eating at home hard, but I'm going to try. Some of my ideas are portable- it sounds terrible but the girls are OK with cold cheese quesedilla's in particular...

Lunch Ideas: (served with fruit of choice)

TurkeySandwiches

Mac & Cheese

Cheese Quesadilla

Beans & Rice

Scrambled eggs w/ toast

Buttered Noodles

Dinner Menu

Monday- Spaghetti

Tuesday- Baked Chicken Teriyaki with rice and broccoli (new recipe I think I found posted last week?)

Wednesday- Vietnam Fried Rice from More With Less- with leftover chicken or chicken breast from freezer

Thursday- Easy Beef Stroganoff (PCHEF, see below) & green beans

Friday- Pizza from Costco (dad recommends, I still haven’t mastered pizza dough)

Saturday- Grill something yummy

Sunday- Crock pot chicken- still seeking best recipe

Recipe note for Easy Beef Stroganoff: This is a Pampered Chef recipe I got at a demonstration. I use "Make AHead Ground Beef" which I make up with lean ground beef I buy from Costco... I double the following recipe and freeze:

3 lbs 90% lean ground beef

3 medium onions (I only use one large, personal taste)

3 cloves of garlic

Chop onions. Brown everything in a large skillet, make sure you combine it well. Divide into equal portions and freeze.

The sheet I have provides six different recipes- I've tried them all, they are pretty good!

Here's the Easy Beef Stroganoff recipe...

To 1 portion Make-Ahead Beef, add:

8 oz sliced mushrooms

1 can Cream of Mushroom soup (I'm trying the recipe in the More with Less cookbook)

1/4 cup of water

1 tsp ground paprika (I omitted last time b/c I didn't have it)

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 tsp black pepper (I actually just use Jane's Crazy Mixed up Salt in any recipe calling for salt & pepper)

Combine all ingredients in skillet and bring to a simmer over medium heat.

Stir 8 oz sour cream into beef mixture.

Cook 1 lb egg noodles- serve stroganoff over noodles. :)

I thought this was really yummy & easy! I'm looking forward to it again. :)

My pantry is getting empty...

I forsee a major shopping trip in my future... I've been trying to cook from my pantry and freezer as much as I can as a way to use up we have and to save money. I still have plenty stockpiled, but I'm now out of necessities such as all-purpose flour, , rice, SALT, cocoa powder, CHOCOLATE CHIPS lol, cooking oil, and some spices. I also want to buy a big bag of popcorn kernels... Jason is driving me crazy because he is always getting into snacks I reserve for the girls at night. I think I have plenty of something, and then check and it's half gone! I asked him the other night would he eat popcorn at night, lightly salted, instead of junky food or the girls snacks, and he enthusiastically said, "Yes!" So that's fine by me- popcorn is cheap and relatively healthy (the way we make it).

I wish he would give up night-time snacking, but I don't think that will happen. He's tried, but he really likes to have something to munch on at night. I'm usually fine after dinner myself.

More with Less cookbook

Some online friends clued me in about this fabulous little gem of a cookbook, More with Less. I feel like I've been missing out all this time! I love that it is really basic cooking, and the recipes are intended to be flexible and open to substitutions. That's one thing that always bothered me about Nourishing Traditions- I felt if you didn't do it exactly as written, it might not turn out.

Also, I was never really taught basic cooking skills... how to make a white sauce, turn it into "cream of mushroom", "cream of celery" etc to use as an ingredient. Just how to get good basic healthy meals on the table. I learned how to cook some things from my late step-grandmother, "Grandmama", but she tended to be a bit cranky and would send me out of the kitchen just when it was getting interesting. I remember she froze lots of veggies from their garden, more than canning them I think. She also made a yummy pot roast, chicken & dumplins', this baked chicken with a vinegar gravy that was served with mashed potatoes and coleslaw (I make this sometimes), cube steak with onions & gravy, and spaghetti. I also remember my step-grandfather, "Papa" would do a pan-fried fish... on the grill! So the house wouldn't get stunk up.

So, I got the baked chicken and cube steak recipes from her. I also learned how to make salmon cakes as a youngun', which we really like. Toward the end of college during my "always on Weight Watchers" stage I found Cooking Light. Which is a good magazine, but it is one that I was reluctant to make changes to many of the recipes initially, and would find myself buying occassional exotic or expensive ingredients for one dish. I have kept a few of the recipes I picked up from that period in our regular rotation, one dish we call "Ginger chicken" which is a stir-fry chicken recipe with bell peppers, green onions, garlic, ginger, and lemon juice. Very yummy! Also a beef stir-fry recipe which called for "baked Ramen noodles" that were low-fat... they don't even make them any more, so I use curly noodles or regular ramen for that.

Whew, started rambling there! But hey, it's my blog. :) Anyway, I love the section in the More is Less cookbook (hereby I will call it MiS)  where she talks about different "meal" ideas... not recipes, but here, this is a balanced meal... some that I think will work for our family are:

-Salad Meal with bread- just get a nice bowl of greens and an assortment of toppings.

-Casserole Meal

-Slow Cooker Combination Meal- meats, grains, legumes in a pot

-Soup Meal

-Rice Meal- steamed or fried rice

and my PERSONAL favorite,

-Ice-cream Meal- make some homemade icecream, offer toppings and fruit! It IS protein!

She (Doris) elaborates on all those meals and gives ideas how you can do "More with Less" with them in terms of using leftovers, making ahead, filling out the meal, etc. What I appreciate about it is I have various recipes but I don't really think about it in terms of meals across a week... I like to mix up my proteins in a given week, but I also like to mix up the "style" of my meals. This overview gave me a good idea, and thoughts about how to do more with less. Like my dh adores chef salads and chicken caesar salads... so if I roast a chicken, save the meat for a chef salad the next day. Also save bits to put in fried rice. All very basic stuff that I sort of know but tend to forget in the scuffle of grocery planning. It seems intuitive to some cooks, but not to me.

In order to get the most out of this fabulous cookbook, I think I'm going to go through it and jot down my observations, recipes to try or how the ones I make turn out. So I can remember, mostly!